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-   -   Universal laws..... (http://www.wranglerforum.com/f6/universal-laws-63367.html)

ParaCAD 09-28-2010 03:01 PM

Universal laws.....
 
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).


8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine or computer won't work, it will.


10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. . The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15... Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.


18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

mrcarcrazy 09-28-2010 03:18 PM

Here's one...as much as I hate to quote my dad.

Murphy's law : If something can go wrong it will
Randall's variation: Murphy was an optimist.

PTaylor 09-28-2010 03:25 PM

Murphy's Law of Electronics - A $300 electronic something will always protect a 10 cent fuse.

BLACKTOOTHGRIN 09-28-2010 03:28 PM

:appl: ParaCAD

Confucius Says:
Man who stands on toilet....Is High On Pot!
:D

Vaultzz 09-28-2010 03:33 PM

This is by far my favorite
:D

15... Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

ParaCAD 09-28-2010 03:37 PM

And this the longest and true...haha

11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. . The aisle people also are very surly folk.

Cons_Table 09-28-2010 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vaultzz (Post 792466)
This is by far my favorite
:D

15... Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Is it just me, or does seem to be common on the forum :rofl:

Barrie 09-28-2010 03:47 PM

I can relate to #8, that one cost me a house.

mrcarcrazy 09-28-2010 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cons_Table (Post 792472)
Is it just me, or does seem to be common on the forum :rofl:

rampant. but hey, if you start feeling bad about this forum goto any honda forum, 350z forum, etc....this is really a good one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barrie in Maine (Post 792486)
I can relate to #8, that one cost me a house.

:rofl: I hate to laugh. but I did.

Cons_Table 09-28-2010 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrcarcrazy (Post 792490)
rampant. but hey, if you start feeling bad about this forum goto any honda forum, 350z forum, etc....this is really a good one.

Im just messin around, most of the people on here are pretty knowledgable. Glad to have somewhere to go with pretty reliable advice. No wonder all those civics around town are all show and no go :rofl:

toshpate 09-28-2010 03:56 PM

sorry barrie I laughed too. luckily I didnt lose a house just 180 lbs of dead weight ha ha

sparky 09-28-2010 04:13 PM

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Everything takes longer than you think.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will
cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Mother nature is a bitch.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.

When all else fails, read the instructions.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will
cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Everything that goes up must come down.
Takeoffs are optional - landings are mandatory.

Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc.

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or
forbid your kids to do it.

First Law of Debate:
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be
discovered that the gasket has been omitted.

After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found on
the bench.

First Rule of Mechanics: If it works, don't fix it.

toshpate 09-28-2010 04:18 PM

well said sparky..you must know my luck or something. if I didnt have bad luck I wouldnt have any at all
and no you dont make your own luck for all you optimistic sucky people

mrcarcrazy 09-28-2010 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cons_Table (Post 792496)
Im just messin around, most of the people on here are pretty knowledgable. Glad to have somewhere to go with pretty reliable advice. No wonder all those civics around town are all show and no go :rofl:

:D its true. I sometimes visit other forums, just for my own sick entertainment. I know...I'm troubled.

IdahoIslander 10-02-2010 04:48 PM

My favorite is #7

OH NO! It just disappeared!!

#7. When you pick your favorite law it will vanish.

harwa004 10-02-2010 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barrie in Maine (Post 792486)
I can relate to #8, that one cost me a house.

:eek: Barrie, Barrie, Barrie....tsk. :rofl:


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