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jeeptales 12-06-2005 06:51 PM

Jeep Jokes
 
I saw this on anorther Forum...

Are you sitting down?


35 REASONS WHY JEEPS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN


1. Jeeps don't get pregnant.


2. You can drive your Jeep any time of the month.


3. Jeeps don't have parents.


4. Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.


5. You can share your Jeep with your friends.


6. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.


7. When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.


8. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you have.


9. Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.


10. Jeeps don't care if you buy Jeep magazines.


11. You'll never hear, "Surprise! You're going to own a new Jeep!"
...unless you go out and get it yourself.


12. If your Jeep goes flat, you can fix it.


13. If your Jeep is too loose, you can tighten it.


14. If your Jeep is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.


15. You can have a Jeep of color and still bring it home to your parents.


16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Jeep.


17. If you say bad things to your Jeep,
you don't have to apologize before you drive it again.


18. You can drive your Jeep as long as you want and it won't get sore.


19. You can stop driving your Jeep as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.


20. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Jeep after you dump it.


21. Jeeps don't get headaches.


22. Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.


23. Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.


24. Jeeps don't care if you're late.


25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your Jeep.


26. If your Jeep doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.


27. You can drive your Jeep the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner,
see a movie, or meet its mother.


28. The only protection you have to wear when driving your Jeep is a decent seat belt.


29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great drive you had the
last time you were in your Jeep.


30. Your Jeep is never embarrassed to go topless in public.


31. You only have to feed your Jeep when you use it.


32. A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.


33. Jeeps don't care how much money you spend on them.


34. You never have to worry about your Jeep spending your money.


35. You don't have to remember your Jeep's birthday, when you first met, or anniversaries.


You know you're having fun when...


1. The coin wash attendant says your jeep is too muddy to use the car wash.


2. You suggestion to take the top down results in your female passenger complying.


3. Your lost and vultures are circling overhead.


4. Your C.B. radio plays nothing but banjo music.


5. Your last lift takes you over the 7 foot garage height restrictions.


6. Your jeep is so mean and nasty looking that other vehicles avoid you.


7. Your jeep articulates so well that your hi-lift jack can't get the wheels off the ground.


8. Your life is preoccupied with finding alternative on-board air storage methods.


9. Your sex life is going downhill while your jeep is going uphill.


10. You've rolled your jeep and you're looking forward to the next time.


11. Your parts dealer laughs when you walk in the door.


12. You wake up one morning with a "jeep thing" tattoo.



YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A REAL JEEP IF...

1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside


2. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain


3. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark


4. You roll it over and don't get upset


5. Your mom and sister can't get in without help


6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb


7. You puke when you see a RAV4


8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush


9. When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and *****-slap the driver


10. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts


11. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days


12. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!"


13. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker


14. When you can see OVER a Suburban


15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know
where you will end up


16. When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win


17. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off


18. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless


19. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break


20. If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house


21. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep
back onto its wheels again


22. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield


23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents


24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints


25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling


26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other


27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof


28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance


29. Even worse the car wash won't let you in


30. You fix almost everything yourself


31. When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser


32. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized


33. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground


34. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it


35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it


36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway


37. You are dating the Service, Parts or Sales Manager at the Jeep dealership


38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily


39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway


40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep


41. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel


42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying
along a set of steps


43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.


44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage


45. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident


46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep


47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.


48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm


49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.


50. Your wallet is always empty.


51. When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep


52. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep

daddyjeep 12-06-2005 10:09 PM

Good stuff, I can relate to almost all of that. The mud falling off when the doors close reminds me of what the detail guy at the dealership I used to work at said when I pulled it in the garage to wash it one day. He said that the mud was holding it together...he was right. one of my bump stops fell off while I was washing it. He chuckled a bit when he saw that.

jeeptales 12-07-2005 11:03 AM

Been there
 
We sure do get some funny looks when we are caked in mud...

khenderson 12-07-2005 06:01 PM

it's amusing when you're coming back from wheeling with the doors and top off and both you and the jeep are caked in mud....talk about funny looks.

1BLKJP 12-07-2005 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by khenderson
it's amusing when you're coming back from wheeling with the doors and top off and both you and the jeep are caked in mud....talk about funny looks.

Thats exactly why mud sucks. :D Out here even if you don't wash your jeep you have to when it gets mud on it or the sun will bake the entire thing.

jeeptales 12-08-2005 10:45 AM

I try to avoid mud
 
But....

Sometime you just see a mud hole you have to play in.

Like this on at the Palo Duro Jeep Jamboree last year...

No; that's not me I just smaped the photo.



MR.CLIFFORD 12-08-2005 12:15 PM

Real jeeps bark when they turn. ;)

MouthfulOfGrass 04-13-2007 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MR.CLIFFORD (Post 5432)
Real jeeps bark when they turn. ;)

:D :D :D :D

BADBlue 04-23-2007 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MR.CLIFFORD (Post 5432)
Real jeeps bark when they turn. ;)

That's what i thought too. But then i got new tires and no more barking! Even with the rear locked. the Firestone Destinations M/Ts sure are sticky. with my wheels turned all the way the tires wont bark anymore.

Chickdey 04-26-2007 02:15 PM

Why Jeeps are better than men
  • After a good ride in your Jeep, you can immediately go for another ride.
  • Middle aged Jeeps don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
  • A Jeep doesn't leave cold wet spots.
  • If a Jeep screws up repeatedly, you can trade it in for a better model.
  • A Jeep gets turned on only when you want it to be turned on.
  • Even small Jeeps give satisfaction.
  • When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.
  • Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.
  • Jeeps are easy to buy for.
  • A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.
  • Jeeps can go for hours on end.
  • Jeeps go as fast or as slow as you want.
  • Jeeps handle the valleys not just the mountains.
  • If your jeep's too small you can always make it bigger.
  • Jeeps like hills of all sizes.
  • Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
  • Jeeps don't mind if you do all the driving.
  • You never have to spend time with your Jeep's mother.
  • Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.
  • You can share your Jeep with your friends.
  • Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
  • Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.
  • Jeeps don't fall asleep immediately after a hard ride.
  • Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.
  • A Jeep always looks good - even with the lights on.
  • There are lots of exciting new Jeeps to choose from every year.

kljip 04-26-2007 11:35 PM

:rolleyes: so this says that jeeps are better that any men or women!:D :D :D :D :D

Chickdey 04-27-2007 09:35 AM

pretty much and I'd have to agree - I like my jeep better than most people :)

98TJ 11-12-2007 09:58 AM

"A Jeep always looks good - even with the lights on" - Excellent!!!:D

02Prove 11-12-2007 10:26 AM

Awesome post!!!

yj4x4 11-12-2007 05:26 PM

I can totally relate to most of that. I finally had to wash mine because i almost backed into another car. couldnt see out of any of my windows or mirrors

Big Mo G 117 02-16-2010 08:35 PM

i know how you feel i have no back fenders on mine right now so i get water kiced up on all the window driving is pretty much a guessing game :)

Kurogo 08-16-2010 03:20 AM

Washing....your.....jeep.....? I don't understand this concept....is that like waiting for it to rain?

Nice post btw.

tandrus 08-16-2010 12:00 PM

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: I LOVE IT!!!

toshpate 08-16-2010 12:27 PM

yeah washed off the big chunks yesterday, first time in awhile. there is still mud tho on my dash and window and rollbars and......

rtread 08-16-2010 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chickdey (Post 76257)
Why Jeeps are better than men
  • After a good ride in your Jeep, you can immediately go for another ride.
  • Middle aged Jeeps don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
  • A Jeep doesn't leave cold wet spots.
  • If a Jeep screws up repeatedly, you can trade it in for a better model.
  • A Jeep gets turned on only when you want it to be turned on.
  • Even small Jeeps give satisfaction.
  • When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.
  • Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.
  • Jeeps are easy to buy for.
  • A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.
  • Jeeps can go for hours on end.
  • Jeeps go as fast or as slow as you want.
  • Jeeps handle the valleys not just the mountains.
  • If your jeep's too small you can always make it bigger.
  • Jeeps like hills of all sizes.
  • Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
  • Jeeps don't mind if you do all the driving.
  • You never have to spend time with your Jeep's mother.
  • Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.
  • You can share your Jeep with your friends.
  • Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
  • Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.
  • Jeeps don't fall asleep immediately after a hard ride.
  • Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.
  • A Jeep always looks good - even with the lights on.
  • There are lots of exciting new Jeeps to choose from every year.

A guy's rebuttal:
I don't think I've ever seen or heard of a Jeep with a headache. :rolleyes:

toshpate 08-16-2010 03:05 PM

Yes they do. Typically their "back" hurts. Ha ha

trailrated13 08-16-2010 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chickdey (Post 76257)
Why Jeeps are better than men
  • After a good ride in your Jeep, you can immediately go for another ride.
  • Middle aged Jeeps don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
  • A Jeep doesn't leave cold wet spots.
  • If a Jeep screws up repeatedly, you can trade it in for a better model.
  • A Jeep gets turned on only when you want it to be turned on.
  • Even small Jeeps give satisfaction.
  • When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.
  • Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.
  • Jeeps are easy to buy for.
  • A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.
  • Jeeps can go for hours on end.
  • Jeeps go as fast or as slow as you want.
  • Jeeps handle the valleys not just the mountains.
  • If your jeep's too small you can always make it bigger.
  • Jeeps like hills of all sizes.
  • Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
  • Jeeps don't mind if you do all the driving.
  • You never have to spend time with your Jeep's mother.
  • Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.
  • You can share your Jeep with your friends.
  • Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
  • Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.
  • Jeeps don't fall asleep immediately after a hard ride.
  • Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.
  • A Jeep always looks good - even with the lights on.
  • There are lots of exciting new Jeeps to choose from every year.



LOVE IT:rofl:

This is a great post

OsageJeep 01-19-2011 09:56 PM

this made my night

wavebacktothetj 01-21-2011 12:19 PM

A jeep rolled into a bar and said ouch... Waka waka waka great thread btw I know how you guys feel I'm right there with you

Peepers 01-21-2011 12:49 PM

There is a cute bombshell blond working at the local dealership parts department...

InfernoGirl 01-21-2011 12:51 PM

And now for the ladies..... ;)

35 REASONS WHY JEEPS ARE BETTER THAN MEN


1. Jeeps don't get you pregnant.


2. Your Jeep doesn't care what time of the month you drive it.


3. Jeeps don't have parents.


4. Jeeps don't complain if you don't ride them for longer than usual.


5. You can share your Jeep with your friends.


6. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.


7. When driving, you and your Jeep always arrive at the same time.


8. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you have.


9. Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.


10. Jeeps don't care if you gain a little weight.


11. You'll never hear, "I just don't love you anymore", from your Jeep.


12. If your Jeep doesn't need little blue pills to be "lifted".


13. If your Jeep is too small, you can lift it.


14. If your Jeep is misaligned, you don't have to try to convince it that it's wrong.


15. Your parents don't care what color your Jeep is.

16. You don't have to be jealous of the girls who eyeball your Jeep.

17. If you say bad things to your Jeep, it won't pout for a week.


18. You can drive your Jeep as long as you want and it will just keep going.


19. You can stop driving your Jeep as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.


20. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Jeep after you dump it.


21. Jeeps don't get E.D.


22. Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.


23. Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.


24. Jeeps don't care if you're late.


25. You don't have to do your hair before you ride your Jeep.


26. If your Jeep doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.


27. You can drive your Jeep the first time you meet it, without worrying about your reputation.


28. The only protection you have to wear when driving your Jeep is a decent seat belt.


29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great drive you had the
last time you were in your Jeep.


30. Your Jeep is never embarrassed to go topless in public.


31. You only have to feed your Jeep when you use it.


32. A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.


33. Jeeps don't care how much money you spend.


34. You never have to worry about your Jeep thinking you spend too much money.


35. You don't have to worry about protecting your Jeeps ego.

TR3YNGLER 01-21-2011 11:51 PM

hmmmmm

InfernoGirl 01-22-2011 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TR3YNGLER (Post 1006188)
hmmmmm

LOL :rofl:

monkeee2002 01-22-2011 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfernoGirl (Post 1005077)

14. If your Jeep is misaligned, you don't have to try to convince it that it's wrong.

Pffft. The alignment's fine. It's just that the roads are shaped funny now.:D

JeepWench 01-25-2011 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chickdey
Why Jeeps are better than men
[*]After a good ride in your Jeep, you can immediately go for another ride.[*]Middle aged Jeeps don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.[*]A Jeep doesn't leave cold wet spots.[*]If a Jeep screws up repeatedly, you can trade it in for a better model.[*]A Jeep gets turned on only when you want it to be turned on.[*]Even small Jeeps give satisfaction.[*]When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.[*]Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.[*]Jeeps are easy to buy for.[*]A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.[*]Jeeps can go for hours on end.[*]Jeeps go as fast or as slow as you want.[*]Jeeps handle the valleys not just the mountains.[*]If your jeep's too small you can always make it bigger.[*]Jeeps like hills of all sizes.[*]Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.[*]Jeeps don't mind if you do all the driving.[*]You never have to spend time with your Jeep's mother.[*]Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.[*]You can share your Jeep with your friends.[*]Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.[*]Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.[*]Jeeps don't fall asleep immediately after a hard ride.[*]Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.[*]A Jeep always looks good - even with the lights on.[*]There are lots of exciting new Jeeps to choose from every year.

Love it!! :-)


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