In a way, your post amuses me. I was in the opposite camp, although admittedly any comparison isn't even Apples to Oranges. I've been through 3 different lift kits on my 2015 JKU-R Hard Rock.
The first was an AEV 2.5" SC. Loved it. Better than stock handling. It did squat some in the rear when loaded up with the camping gear, but not beyond level. I did have some rubbing at full articulation, but that was rare too. Then we got a small cargo-trailer with an RTT (Roof-Top-Tent). A trip through Colorado showed me that my rig on 35" tires (4.10 axles) needed better brakes. Otherwise, everything else was grand. EXCEPT..... the wife got tired of "TENTS", and she did not like the ladder in the dark when she needed to go out to the rest room. Especially in the rain. As I was retiring, and selling back my sick-time and unused vacation, I had a fist full of cash, over 1000 hours at my hourly rate. So we bought a new off-road rated trailer that could go anywhere.
I was immediately disappointed with the AEV 2.5" lift. It wasn't up to the task of the new trailer. I certainly loved the handling of the AEV products, better than the stock JKU-R on the highways are quite acceptable off-road too. So I traded a couple of E-mails with AEV, and soon I was purchasing the 3.5" SC lift kit. I got that installed and was immediately not happy. It was not only a LIFT kit, it was also a LEVELING kit. When I put the trailer on it the rear end sag was not acceptable. After more discussion I added a 1" spacer to the rear springs. But that wasn't quite enough, the trailer has a lot of tongue weight. The next suggestion was to add Air-Lift air bags. Simple enough, and cheap. So I tried it. It worked, but it felt like a band-aid solution to me. Without the air bags inflated I always thought the back end was a little soft. But the handling was superb. And I was able to sell the used AEV 2.5" lift for 50% of what I paid for it, so it wasn't a total loss. At the big annual Southern New Mexico 4X4 event, testing it on the RTI it did an 834. Not too bad.
At Overland Expo Flagstaff in 2021 I had the opportunity to meet the AEV folks in person. They went over my rig. What they did not ask previously and I did not mention or consider was the cargo in the rear of the JEEP. And it was significant. The AEV recommendation was to change to the 4.5" H/C lift, the H/C is the high-capacity "Overland" springs. Fortunately, all the components EXCEPT SPRINGS are the same in the 3.5" and 4'5" kits. So I only needed to buy the springs and bump-stops. It was still a leveling kit, so I still left the 1" spacers in when I swapped out the springs and bump-stops. But this was exactly where I needed to be. When fully loaded for an extended expedition, the rear end was still about 1/4-inch higher than the front. PERFECT! The rear was much stiffer. At first I thought too stiff. And I was able to sell the 3.5" springs and bump-stops for $200, so again it wasn't a total loss.
At the 2022 Southern New Mexico 4X4 event I discussed the changes I had made with several of the folks. The question was this. Coming from a 3.5" lift that ramped an 834, would going to a 4.5" lift with high-capacity springs ramp better or worse? For a few days the discussion was interesting, with best guesses on either side, better or worse. Finally on the last day there was a small crowd watching while we did the ramp. And it did an 828. Just slightly worse, almost not worth mentioning.
I wish you the best of luck on your situation.
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